Writing Impeccable English

Creative Writing – 170

See the following passages that mean almost the same thing. Only, the style differs

Iran story taken from CNN’s Middle east edition

The cries of the women outside a Tehran courthouse swell to a collective wail. The gathering is reminiscent of a vigil, but it is one of the vestiges of a nationwide uprising that has all but died down after the Iranian judiciary’s breathless handing down of death sentences in recent weeks.

Same story in simple English expected from school and college students

Iran has clamped down on its protesters using brute force. A few agitators have been hanged for their part in the anti-government stir, while many more have been jailed for long years. Such severe punishment has frightened the protesters so much that the movement has virtually stopped. Outside the courtrooms where the trial of the arrested protesters is going on, panic-stricken women relatives of the victims are crying very loudly and pitifully. It seems they would wait there till the hope of release of their near and dear ones materializes.

Same story in good English from this blog’s writers

Unleashing state’s brutal and oppressive might, Iran’s government has almost nearly smothered the massive protests that in the recent past engulfed the whole country. Courts have sent many of the agitators to the gallows, and ordered long incarceration of many more. Such harsh handling of dissent has pushed majority of the protesters back to their homes bringing the upheaval to an abrupt end. The courtrooms present a very gloomy view as women relatives of the under-trials scream with angst and frustration. Their loud cries fill the surroundings with funk.